Feb 16

Feb 16 BZ Book Review 10: <11 Rules of Likability> by Michelle Lederman

Key Takeaways

1. You should treat network as a connection instead of some kind of transaction. Your honesty and authenticity will win people over.

2. There is no right way to be at a social gathering, the best thing to do is to be yourself and the best way is your way. Be authentic means being true to yourself. Instead of wearing a mask and faking it, try looking at different sides of things. Skip things that you don’t want to be part of. If you have to, say go to someone’s party that you don’t want but feel like have to, bring someone along so at least you two can mingle and meet someone.

3. Be consistent and confident in your communication.

Being consistent in your communication means communicating the same message in your verbal (words you choose), vocal (tone), visual (body language) parts;
Being confident in your communication means believing in what you say, pay attention to how you describe things and what words you use because they affect how you perceived things as well, then focus on what you can do instead of what you cannot.

4. Ask questions and be genuinely interested.

Ask open-ended questions
Ask probing questions such as “ can you clarify…” “Do you mean….” “ I am interested in learning that why you think…”

5. Actively listening

Inward listening: “Like want to go to LA” -”Me, too”
Onward listening: “I like that movie” - “ What do you like about it?”
Intuitive listening: observe non-verbal expressions besides the words. “ You seemed so excited when you mention that name, so are you thinking about asking her out?”

6. Similarity makes people like you. Same goes to common friends. Leverage this for LinkedIn Research